i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
