You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
