i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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