He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
