glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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