i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize