found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
