I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
