a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
