I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize