he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
