the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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