i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize