I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just want nice things and good sex
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
