id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
