i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize