I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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