Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
