i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
