I think I am morally bankrupt
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
