redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize