East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
