i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
