we should wear snuggies to the strip club
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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