I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
