he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize