Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
