Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
