i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I accidentally had phone sex last night
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
