of course. lets lasso hookers.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
