Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
