Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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