So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
