I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
