I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
