drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
