feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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