this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
