Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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