Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
