Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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