So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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