I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
So vagazzling was a success
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
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