Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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