Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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