She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
