He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
