Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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