look no pants
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
