is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize