Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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