i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
This is classic penis vs brain.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
