who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
