I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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