After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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