STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
