Grow some girl-balls and come out already
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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