I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
